“Have you always hated me?”

I’ve never felt genuinely hated until I got married. Such an oxymoron. And now divorced, I wonder was I even ever loved. I don’t think back to dwell but to learn from my mistakes. I want to do it right next time. But what does true love look like? What does it feel like? I’ve heard you’ll just know or if you don’t know, you’ve never felt it. Neither of those answers really help me. I do know love shouldn’t feel the way I feel. To literally feel pain in your chest and cry until you have no tears or strength left for someone who hated you all along is the worse feeling in the world.

{Journal Entry}

From my heart, XoXX